What I Learned While I Was In Prison

Yesterday at 3 p.m. I got out of prison.

While I was there I learned some things about human beings.

I was invited to speak to a group of 50 prisoners at the Federal                 Correction Institute Englewood who chose to be part of the “Time To   Change” program.

This was the end of a 12-week program where the inmates learned things like: time management, conflict resolution, family relations, motivation, employment and financial stability.  The program is all about teaching the inmates how to usefully use their time inside prison so that they can have a better life when they get out of prison.

I spoke to them about the fact that if they truly want to change their lives and never be inside prison again, they cannot be the same person they were before they entered prison.  That person is the one who got them in prison in the first place.  It is vitally important that they change how they think about themselves and upgrade their self-image.  And, the best time to start making this change is right now.

I got to thinking and realized that you and I share many of the same challenges as these prisoners.

1.  Who we are right now is not the right person to achieve our big goals.  Who we are right now and who we have been is what has gotten us to where we are now.  In order to achieve these goals we will need to change how we think about ourselves and upgrade our self-image.

2.  We are all doing time.  We all have a life sentence.  And, we all have some more time to serve.  The question is: how do we choose to spend that time?  Whether we have decades, years or months left on earth, we get to choose how we are going to spend that time.

Are you merely trying to survive your sentence?  Are you numbly being carried forward by habit and routine?  Or, are you actively exploring your potential, striving to be the best you that you can possibly be?  Or, perhaps you are somewhere in the middle.

3.  We all have areas in our life where we are behind bars.  Our freedom to move forward is blocked.  Instead of forward motion and the desired results and outcomes, we get struggle, frustration, disappointment, and failure.  Life becomes not as fun or enjoyable as it could be.

Even more frustrating is that the only place these bars exist is inside our own heads.  These bars are built from our limiting beliefs, attitudes, expectations, behaviors, thoughts and non-conscious programming.

Nobody wants a life behind bars.  As long as the bars are there we won’t experience the freedom we so desperately desire!

The good news is: these bars are not the truth.  They can be removed and when they are removed we gain freedom.

I invite you to sit down right now and spend a few minutes thinking about the rest of your life sentence.

• What do you want to accomplish?
• How do you want to spend your time?
• How do you want to think and feel about yourself?
• Do you want to survive or do you want to thrive?
• How do you want to be remembered?
• What are some of your iron bars?  And, what are you going to do about them?

Intending great joy and success in all you do!

Jonathan Manske

Time for an Icon or Archetype Upgrade???

This is a topic that we have talked about before:

How do you think about yourself?  What is your self image?

Part of the way we think of ourselves is through the use of icons and archetypes.

Most likely some of your icons and archetypes could use an upgrade.

Let me give you a few examples that I have run across recently:

“Bob” sees himself as a survivor and if you know his history, this is accurate.  He has survived some truly rough experiences and has created a good life for himself.

However, in order to be a survivor you need things to survive.  So, “Bob” keeps attracting challenges into his life that he must then overcome and survive.

Being a survivor is useful, it just isn’t a good final destination.  “Bob” needs to upgrade that archetype to being a thriver.

“Sally”  thinks of herself as a lighthouse - guiding people and showing them the way.

The problem with this icon is:  where are lighthouses typically located?  They are in desolate, storm swept, remote areas.  They are lonely.

“Sally is lonely.”  She needs to upgrade her icon.

What if she thought of herself as a big spotlight shining up into the night sky guiding people to a big party.  She would have a very different experience of her life.

What are some of your icons and archetypes that could use an upgrade?  Are you a martyr, a victim, a lone ranger, a rock, a child, a . . . ?  Do these icons and archetypes serve you?  If yes, keep them.  If not, it’s time to upgrade.

How to upgrade your icons and archetypes:

#1  Identify existing icon or archetype.

#2  Figure out what would be a useful upgrade.

#3  Visualize the existing image in the palm of your left hand.  Have that image be as bright and clear as you can.

#4  Then visualize the upgrade image in the palm of your right hand.  Have that image be as bright and clear as you can.

#5  Go back and forth between the two images several times.

#6  Now slowly place the back of your right hand in the palm of your left hand.  As you are doing this, see the image in your left palm begin to fade out and be replaced by the upgrade image in your right palm.

#7  Leave you hands like this until you feel a shift (probably 30 seconds to a minute).  Then bring both hands against the center of your chest and leave them there until you feel another shift.

#8  Repeat this exercise 6 times over the next 3 days.

Also you will want to start actively thinking of yourself in terms of the upgrade.  (”Bob” would think, I am a thriver.  “Sally” would think, I am a spotlight promoting a great party.)

Wishing you great joy and success,

Jonathan Manske

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Mirror Mirror on the Wall

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You have an image of yourself inside your head, your Self Image .

This image acts as the ultimate instruction manual for your life.  It provides the rules of operation by which you live.

Your thoughts, behaviors and actions are all consistent with your self image.

Now here’s the thing:  some of your self image is beneficial and supports you to have a great life and some of your self image is not beneficial and causes you to suffer.  And almost all of your self image got created by accident.  It was influenced by parents, teachers, friends, society, culture, religion, role models, and your experiences.

For example:  If your self image includes being a successful business person that would probably make your life better.  If your self image includes being an inept business person that would probably make you suffer.

The good news is that you can change parts of your self image and in so doing you can improve your life.

Here’s an easy way to change your self image:

First of all, you need to get a sense of your current self image.

#1  Pick an area of your life that you are looking to improve.  As an example, let’s use money (or fitness).

#2  Imagine that you enter a big room and in the room are four groups of people.

In one corner are people earning minimum wage and entry level type salaries.  (Overweight non-exercisers)

In the second corner are working people who earn $40-80K a year.  (A little chubby, occasional exercisers)

In the third corner are business owners and managers who make $100-250K a year.  (Fit, exercise daily)

And in the fourth corner are executives, top sales people and CEO’s who make over $250k a year.  (Marathon runners etc.)

#3  In which of these four groups would you feel most comfortable, most at home?  (Stick with reality here - not which group would you most like to be in but rather which one would be most natural, familiar and comfortable.)

That is your current self image.

#4  Imagine that you are a shorts and t-shirt type of person and that you dressed up in formal evening wear, a tuxedo or cocktail dress.  When you look in the mirror, it might take a moment to recognize yourself and then you would say, "oh yeah, that’s me."

#5  You want to use this idea, "Oh yeah, that’s me" to change your self image.

Create an image that is an upgrade of your current image.  Then keep reminding yourself, "Oh yeah, that’s me!"

It only takes a couple of seconds to do this:  "Oh yeah, that’s me - the successful business person!"  "Oh yeah, that’s me - the daily exerciser!"

When you keep reminding yourself of this, you begin to change that self image and when you do that, your life changes!

Mirror Mirror on the wall, who’s that successful ________ I see?  Oh yeah, that’s me!

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How Do You Think About Yourself?

The way that you think about yourself has everything to do with the way your life is turning out.

Maxwell Maltz was a very famous plastic surgeon.  (He also wrote Psycho Cybernetics.)  He discovered something very interesting.  What he discovered is that he would do the same procedure on two different people and create very different results.

Let’s imagine that two people went to see Maltz because their noses had gotten crushed and deformed.  Because of this blemish, they had become self conscious and shy.  After the surgery one’s life was totally changed.  He became social, outgoing and confident.  For the other, nothing really changed.  In fact oftentimes this person couldn’t even tell that he looked different.  Friends and family could see the difference but he couldn’t see it in himself.

Maltz realized that there is a self image inside our heads - who we think we are.  This self image runs our lives.

If we change the outside but do not change the inside, the self image, nothing really changes.

I had a very insightful weekend regarding my own self image.

I think of myself as a laborer rather than a business owner.  This is a problem!  This is contradictory to what I want to create in my life.

I’ve been an entrepreneur pretty much my whole life but I have never thought of myself as such.

In high school and college I had a lawn mowing business.  I made way more money then my peers who had summer jobs.  But I never thought of myself as a business owner.  It never occurred to me to get even more customers and then hire some labor and make money off of their efforts.  Instead, my mindset was that if I want to make more money, I just need to work more.

Well, 20 years later I’m still doing that.  I still think of myself as a laborer.  Now that I am aware of this, I see it all over my life.

On my recent fishing trip to Alaska, I was a laborer.  If I saw something that needed to get done - I did it - get the boat ready, rig up fishing poles, haul salmon, vac-pac salmon and so on.  (I am a very good laborer).

If my self image was of a business owner, an entrepreneur, I would have seen that these things needed to be done and then would have made sure that they got done with me doing the doing as a last resort.

The good news is that:  You can change your self image!

Contrary to popular opinion, you can change your self image and changing it can be a quick, easy and painless process.

I have an appointment with myself this afternoon to do some work on changing my self image from laborer to business owner/entrepreneur.

Take a look at how you think about yourself.  If that thinking is not consistent with what you want to create in your life, then it’s time for a self image upgrade.