Really bad mental accounting

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Really bad mental accounting   I recently had a very unpleasant experience. This was at a place where I have had many great experiences. So, it was interesting to watch my thinking. I easily started thinking about how maybe there will be more bad experiences and how it might even get worse, and I might […]

And, just have fun

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And, just have fun  So often we get serious about things when we would be much better served if we were having fun instead. Fun is far more magnetic than seriousness. Would you rather buy from the person who is light and fun or from the deadly serious person? Would you rather go on a […]

Making sense of behaviors

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Making sense of behaviors  Strange, perplexing, annoying, dysfunctional, and sabotaging behaviors all make sense when we uncover the stories behind them. Here are a handful of common stories behind some of these behaviors to illustrate this point: Procrastination ~ I’m not ready. It probably won’t work. I don’t deserve to have that anyway. I’ll do […]


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Pruning  From a plant’s point of view, pruning probably hurts. The plant has put energy and effort into growing that branch and then “snip”, it is gone. However, the end result is either greater beauty or more fruit. In our lives, if we want greater beauty or more fruits, then some pruning is necessary. Oftentimes, […]

What would I do if I didn’t drink?

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What would I do if I didn’t drink?  So often in our thinking we are pushing against what we do not want rather than moving towards what we do want. And this strategy simply does not work. There’s a famous NLP (neuro linguistic programming) story about an alcoholic who kept wondering why she drank. She […]

Short term courage to avoid long term pain

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Short term courage to avoid long term pain How many problems have we caused ourselves by choosing short-term comfort over doing what really needed to be done? In the short term it is far easier to not have that difficult conversation, to not stand up for ourselves or ask for what we want, to not […]

Talking at or talking with

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Talking at or talking with There is a big difference in impact between talking at someone and talking with someone. When we talk at someone, we diminish connection and can easily bring up their resistance. When we talk with someone, we deepen the connection and bring down their resistance. Notice how these two phrases impact […]

Being present by projecting into the future

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Being present by projecting into the future Be present. Be here now. Live in the present. We’ve heard this wise advice many times in many ways. Interestingly enough, projecting into the future can actually help us be more present now. If I’m feeling the invitation to check out or the invitation to not do what […]

Lousy Mind Readers

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Lousy Mind Readers In The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz tells us to not make any assumptions. That is great advice that we tend to do a poor job of following. We think we know what is going on with people. We think that we can read their minds. When in truth we don’t have […]

World’s Quickest Coaching School

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4 part curriculum 1. Ask for permission to coach – otherwise you are being rude and presumptuous. 2. Remember that any possible issue, problem, or challenge that a person can have is simply a symptom of them not fully loving, accepting, and approving of themselves ~ exactly as they are. ALWAYS! So the work to […]

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