Love does not require liking

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Love does not require liking  It is easy to love the people that we like. And, it is easy to not love the people that we don’t like. But, this is a very damaging trap to fall into. First of all, when I judge people and withhold love – this does not make my life […]

Change and apathy

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Change and apathy   A common trap that people fall into is to think that change is not possible, that this is as good as it gets. This easily leads to apathy and resignation. After all, why bother to try or to even be engaged if change is not possible. So, if you find yourself […]

Deep peace and surface storms

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Deep peace and surface storms  Deep down I’ve always had this sense that things are going to be okay, things are going to work out, I’ll be taken care of, that everything is all right. (I don’t know if this is the case for most people. I suspect it is, but I don’t know. Is […]

Changing Habits

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Changing Habits  This is the time of year when people think about or attempt to change habits. The thing to keep in mind in this process is that the most important habit to change is the habit of how you think about yourself. Without changing how we think about ourselves, the other attempts at change […]

I must make things happen!

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I must make things happen!  Einstein said, “The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.” But, many people live under an “I have to make things happen” orientation. This tends to produce stress, isolation, pressure and often leads to sadness, discouragement, and apathy. The “I have […]

What are we setting out to find?

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What are we setting out to find?  We find what we look for. If I’m looking for a reason to be happy, I will find one. If I’m looking for a reason to be upset, I will find one. If I want to validate my story that I’m not supported, or I cannot catch a […]

Making sense of behaviors

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Making sense of behaviors  Strange, perplexing, annoying, dysfunctional, and sabotaging behaviors all make sense when we uncover the stories behind them. Here are a handful of common stories behind some of these behaviors to illustrate this point: Procrastination ~ I’m not ready. It probably won’t work. I don’t deserve to have that anyway. I’ll do […]

Hanging out with goodness

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Hanging out with goodness  Imagine that goodness is a person. Do you live your life in a way that goodness would want to hang out with you? Imagine that I invite you to come over and that when you get here, you discovered that my house is nasty, dirty, smelly, and cluttered. Would you stay […]

What can I do???

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What can I do???  I’ve had a rough couple of days because I was stressed out about the situation with my mom. (Mom had a stroke two weeks ago and cannot move her right arm or leg). I was feeling heavy and helpless because there’s nothing I can do to fix it, to make her […]

Mental Resource Allocation

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Mental Resource Allocation  Any thought or energy directed towards would of, could of, should of – is thought and energy that is not available for focusing on “what’s next”. This is a complete waste of our resources, has zero benefit, and creates a great amount of suffering. Instead, turn towards – “What is next?” Much […]

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