Stories are deeper than behaviors. Stories drive behaviors. So when we try and change our behaviors without first upgrading the stories that drive them, all we can use is will-power, effort, and force – none of which are sustainable – all of which leave us feeling wrung out, worn out, and frustrated because the behavior […]
A Ridiculous Trade
February 17, 2015 by Leave a Comment
Would you trade 1lbs of discomfort for 100lbs of discomfort?Answer carefully because this is a trick question. We do this all the time. How often do we do whatever it takes to escape momentary discomfort without giving a second thought to future ramifications? We don’t do the thing in the moment (talk to the stranger, […]
Baby Steps Over Time & Distance
February 16, 2015 by Leave a Comment
If I fire a gun at a target 10 yards away and then move the barrel 1 millimeter and fire again, the bullet holes will be darn close to identical. However, those same two trajectories will produce a much bigger difference over the space of 300 yards. Over the distance of a mile, the difference […]
Best Cocktail Recipe Ever
February 14, 2015 by Leave a Comment
When someone has really stressed you out or pushed your buttons and you feel like you need a drink, here’s the cocktail I recommend: Equal parts: Compassion* Appreciation of diversity** Respect*** Humor**** Curiosity***** Modify to taste and enjoy. * I too have my quirks and foibles. I too make mistakes. I too use ineffective strategies at […]
Fix vs. Create
February 13, 2015 by Leave a Comment
A focus on the past leads to “I need to fix.” This automatically puts us into resistance and what we resist persists. A focus on the future leads to “What do I want to create?” This puts us into possibility thinking. When we focus on the past, then the past usually becomes predictive of our […]
A New Perspective Is Needed
February 6, 2015 by Leave a Comment
A New Perspective Is Needed When we let ourselves off the hook by not doing the things we know are the “right” thing to do (e.g. exercising, eating healthy, having that difficult conversation, making phone calls etc.), we are not being kind to ourselves. We are not loving ourselves. Instead, we are hating on […]
Dealing With Uncertainty
February 5, 2015 by Leave a Comment
A client asked me today, “How do you deal with uncertainty?” What a great question! We can go one of two directions with uncertainty: We can go numb, decrease our awareness, and become less present. Or, we can wake up and become more present. Here’s the thing ~ certainty is an illusion. There […]
Nothing To Prove
February 4, 2015 by Leave a Comment
Imagine how easy and relaxed life would be if you remembered that you are already good enough and consequently there is nothing to prove. You are already worthy of the best life has to offer ~ joy, happiness, success, wealth, abundance, connection, fulfillment etc. You were born that way! Much love, Jonathan […]
A few more thoughts on goals
February 3, 2015 by Leave a Comment
If your goal is a “have to” rather than a “want to”, it isn’t a goal. It is an obligation. When we operate out of obligation, we drain our energy, enthusiasm, and creativity. Plus it is painful. Don’t set goals to try and prove that you are good (or that you erroneously think will prove […]
Right or Happy
February 2, 2015 by Leave a Comment
Right or Happy If you ask people whether they would rather be right or happy, they answer “happy”. But more often than not their behavior says otherwise. What’s up with our dire need to be right? It’s all based on the illusion that we are not enough and therefore cannot fully love, accept, and […]
