Words of Mass Destruction

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 Words of Mass Destruction

There are a handful of words that we use on a regular basis that are very destructive. What if we never use these words again?

Should ~ This word immediately takes us out of the present and of dealing with what actually is. It has us argue with reality and we lose that argument every time and then we suffer! It should be different. I should be different. Ouch. It is what it is. Deal with it and then put your attention on what you want and where you want to go.

Need ~ This word creates a sense of urgency, pressure and stress that just is not the case. You need to breathe in the next minute or two. You need some water within the next day. You need to eat within the next week. Those are your only true needs. Other than these few things, there is nothing you need to do. Pressure destroys aliveness. Use “want to” or “choose to” instead.

Right & Wrong, Good & Bad ~ Really, do we need more judgment in our lives? In order to know what something means, we need all available data – past, present and future. Obviously we don’t have that so we lack the context to truly know whether something is good or bad. This means we are often going off half cocked, thinking we know what something means when we really don’t.

The midwife mis-diagnosed that my daughter was breech (BAD BAD midwife). My wife ended up having a c-section (BAD because we had planned a home birth). My daughter ended up needing to go straight into the neonatal ICU (GOOD – very good because now she is alive and well). A much better alternative is to assume that your life is falling together and good is happening and then be curious about how this current experience contributes to you.

Think of your actions in terms of useful or not useful, worked or did not work, rather than good and bad or right and wrong.

Notice the difference between: I’m bad, I ate ice cream” – and – “considering that my goal is to slim down, eating that ice cream did not work”. One is your identity and therefore really hard to do anything about. I’m just bad, that’s the way it is. The other is about a behavior and a choice, something that is a lot easier to change. You are not bad because you ate ice cream. You just did something that wasn’t very useful. ~ Huge difference there.

I dare you to ditch these words of mass destruction and see what happens.

Much love,


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