The anesthesia of engagement

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The anesthesia of engagement Yesterday was hot. By 10:30 the sand at the volleyball courts was so hot that it hurt the bottoms of my feet. However as soon as the ball was in play, I became oblivious to the hot sand. Then once the play was over and I was waiting for the start […]

Right or Happy?

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Right or Happy? You know the old saying – would you rather be right or be happy? What would be the impact in our lives if we chose happy more often? What would our world be like if people defaulted to happy? The “juice” that we get from being right does not make our lives […]

Circus expectations

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Circus expectations We saw Toruk by Cirque Du Soleil this evening. Toruk trades the breathtaking acrobatics of every other Cirque Du Soleil performance that I’ve seen for breathtaking special effects and set design. Toruk was almost like a play with some acrobatics thrown in. Based on my previous experiences, it was not at all what […]

The inner critic

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The inner critic Your inner critic – that voice that tells you that you should be doing better, should be farther along, should have already done that, should be perfect, that you aren’t living up to the ideal – actually has a positive intention. It wants to keep us safe. If we do everything perfectly […]

It really is about me

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It really is about me People often get tripped up around the idea that it is not okay to have it be about me. This can prevent people from asking for help, receiving assistance, and going for it. And this is a bunch of garbage. It is okay to be about me. In fact, it […]

Imaginary Debt

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Imaginary Debt People often mistakenly think that they owe someone something which keeps them stuck where they are. For example, I cannot quit my job even though I don’t want to be here because I owe them for hiring me in the first place. No I don’t owe them anything. The ledger is balanced. I […]

What if no one is misbehaving

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What if no one is misbehaving We cause ourselves so much pain, suffering, and other negative feelings by thinking that others are misbehaving. But what if they aren’t? On some level the behaviors always make sense. People are just trying to make sense of their own lives, get what they want, create happiness, and avoid […]

Blaming the thermometer

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Blaming the thermometer If the thermometer tells us that we have a fever, do we think that it is the thermometer that is causing our problems or is the thermometer simply an indicator that something is going on? Our “defective” behaviors are not the cause of our problems. They are an indicator that something is […]

Talking at or talking with

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Talking at or talking with There is a big difference in impact between talking at someone and talking with someone. When we talk at someone, we diminish connection and can easily bring up their resistance. When we talk with someone, we deepen the connection and bring down their resistance. Notice how these two phrases impact […]

Breathing is a good idea

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Breathing is a good idea My daughter and I spent about 4 hours today at The Epic Sky Trek Challenge, an aerial trekking course with over 110 challenging elements. Early on as I was navigating a couple of the elements, I noticed that I wasn’t breathing. As soon as I started breathing deeper, I relaxed. […]

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