Coming of Age

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Coming of Age

  • Do you ever wonder if your best is good enough?
  • Do you worry that “they” will discover that you don’t quite measure up or even that you are a fraud?
  • Do you have a difficult time accepting and appreciating your successes?

If you answered “yes” to any of these, you are not alone. Most people have some degree of self-doubt and insecurity, which gets in the way of truly enjoying your life and career.

A major contributor to these dis-empowering thoughts is the lack of coming-of-age rituals in our modern society. If you have not been confirmed as a real man or real woman by family, tribe or society and subsequently initiated into that world, then how can you know that you are indeed a real man or woman? In the absence of knowing your place in the community of men or in the community of women, it is natural to doubt yourself.

The good news is: you can transform your self-doubt into belonging. Here is how:

  • Take a moment to get relaxed and quiet.
  • Close your eyes and put both hands over your heart.
  • Speak out loud, “I see and accept you as a man among men!” or “I see and accept you as a woman among women!”
  • Keep repeating this until you feel a change within you (probably a minute or two).
  • Do this daily for 7 days.

When you say, “I see you”, imagine the voice of your spirit, the voice of God, or the collective voice of your ancestors. Experiment and see which “voice” is the strongest or mix it up.

Until we talk again:

Know that I see you as a real man in the community of men.

Know that I see you as a real woman in the community of women.

Wishing you great joy and success in your life!


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