A Cure for The Shoulds

If you are a breathing human being, there is a very good chance that you have pressured yourself using the words: should, must and/or need to.

There is also a very good chance that you do this on a regular basis.

Every time that you do this, your quality of life takes a hit, your vitality decreases, your resistance increases and you pressure yourself. (The only thing that thrives on pressure is a tire.)

In general, people do not like to be told what to do and any time they are told what to do, there is a flare of resistance. This is true even if it is you telling yourself what to do.

Should, must and need to are very compulsive words that make you lose perspective. As soon as you use these words, you lose options and choice.

Rather than trying to quit “shoulding” which would be hard work since this is an established habit, let’s use this habit strategically.

Every time that you catch yourself using should, must or need to have that be a wake up call. “Oh I’m stuck in a habit here.” Then change that word to “could”. “Could” allows you to explore, to evaluate your options and make a decision that serves you rather than a decision determined by compulsion and pressure.

Then you can choose to do it or to not do it. And, if you choose not to do it there won’t be any guilt.

Wishing you great joy and success,

Jonathan Manske