Life is meant to be far more than a list of chores

So many people accidentally turn their lives into a giant list of chores. Then they wonder why they are tired, bored, uninspired, apathetic, or even depressed.

“Have to” is one of the main ways that people do this. “Have to” is amazingly toxic. It almost always creates resistance.

Even if someone tells me that I have to do something that I enjoy, it will probably create resistance ~ Jonathan, you have to make whoopee tonight – the resistance starts to churn. “Oh yeah, who says?” I start arguing against myself – “I don’t want to. I don’t feel like it. I’m tired.” Sabotage can easily sneak in – if I pick a fight with my wife then obviously I won’t have to.

I’ll be in resistance to something that I have no interest in being in resistance to because of that conditioned knee-jerk response to “have to”.

So if that conditioning can negatively impact me in an area like this, how much more can it impact us in other areas? e.g. I have to make some calls! – well there’s the resistance – greatly decreasing the likelihood of me making those calls.

Also, “have to” is seldom an accurate assessment of the situation. I have to breathe again quite soon. I have to drink water within the next couple of days. I need to stay warm enough that I don’t freeze to death tonight. I need to eat in the next 30ish days. Beyond these things, everything else is a want rather than a need.

I don’t have to pick up my daughter from school today. Sure there will be consequences if I don’t – just as there will be positive consequences if I do. That’s why “I choose” is such a better alternative to “I have to”. I do choose to pick my daughter up from school today.

Say out loud, “I have to insert task here.” Then say, “I choose to insert task here.” Notice how different those two feel.

The quality of your life will take a big leap forward when you remove “have to” from your speech and thinking. Life is meant to be far more than an enormous list of chores.

Much Love,

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