Are You Good Enough?
I have yet to meet someone who does not have some version of “I’m not good enough” going on inside their head. It seems to be part of the human experience.
Variations of “I’m not good enough” include: “I’m not okay”, “I’m not enough”, “Something is wrong with me”, “I don’t measure up”, “I’m not as good as”, “I cannot do/be like that” etc.
The majority of our struggles and suffering stem from this poor opinion of ourselves.
This usually shows up one of two ways:
1) We do things in order to prove this opinion wrong. The problem with this is that this self opinion is much deeper than any doing. We can do and do and it does not change the self opinion. Plus, when we do things in order to prove, there is always an underlying anger. This has physical, mental and emotional consequences.
2) We move into resignation and apathy. We don’t even try because we know we are not good enough anyway so why bother.
So, the bad news is that you have this negative self opinion. The good news is that any decrease in the amount of this negative self opinion results in an increase in your quality of life. (Read on to see how to do that).
These two words ~ “what if” ~ just might be the most powerful words in the English language. “What if” can turn any situation around. These words offer possibility, change and hope. They create curiosity, wonder and space for change.
You can use “what if” every time you catch yourself falling into that habitual negative self opinion. “What if I am good enough?” “What if I am already okay?”
Say these words right now and notice how your body responds. It is very freeing.
“What if” takes away all the strength of the negative self opinion. That is powerful stuff!
Milton Erickson is the man who made hypnotherapy famous. He was also an amazing healer. One of the things he was noted for was his use of stories, which through humor, shock, surprise or confusion helped his clients see their situation in a new way. (I highly recommend “My Voice Will Go With You: the teaching tales of Milton H Erickson” by Sidney Rosen).
One day Milton was brought into a prison to work with some of the inmates.
One young man was bad news. He was in prison for violent crimes and he was a problem inmate.
The only thing Milton said to him was, “What if you woke up tomorrow and everything was different.”
The other doctors who were observing Milton thought that this guy was too tough for even Milton.
Shortly thereafter, the young man’s behavior changed. He became a model prisoner and ended up getting released early for good behavior. He got married, had kids and became a productive member of society. All this from one “what if”.
What if?????
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