I was recently asked, “How can I hold myself accountable to taking the actions needed to move forward?”

The first thing to understand is that our behaviors (no matter how frustrating they might be) always make sense when we uncover the underlying story.

For example: Let’s say that I’m trying to hold myself accountable to making phone calls but it is not working. Then I uncover the underlying story of, “I cannot deal with being rejected again.” Now, my resistance to making these calls makes total sense. In this situation, I’m trying to hold myself accountable to doing something that another part of me thinks is dangerous. My accountability is doomed to failure because I have a good reason for not doing what I’m supposed to do.

The first thing I need to do in order to be able to hold myself accountable to making calls, is to upgrade that underlying story to one that supports and inspires me. Then the accountability has a chance of succeeding.

I’ve never needed anyone to hold me accountable to play volleyball, go skiing, goof around with my daughter, go fishing, etc. because I have good underlying stories about these things.