Nice and kind are not synonyms. Nice is a surface quality while kindness comes from the heart. We can act nice while feeling the exact opposite.

At times, acting nice can be the opposite of kindness. For example, let’s say that I ask you to listen to a new talk I’m working on. You find my presentation to be confusing and uninspiring but you tell me that I did good and that you liked it because you want to be nice and you don’t want to hurt my feelings. I believe you and I then go and deliver my confusing and uninspiring talk to a group and I bomb horribly.

Kindness can be uncomfortable. Kindness can require courage. Back to the example – it might be uncomfortable and require some courage to say, “Jonathan, I had a hard time following you, I’m not sure what your main point is, and there was no call to action so I don’t know what I’m supposed to do next.” However, this feedback will help me to improve and is therefore very kind.

And to complete this Dose ~ if it doesn’t come from the heart, if it doesn’t come from a desire to support me and assist me to do better, then it is not kindness. It is judgement.

Let’s skip nice and judgment and go with kindness.