Guilt is not a success strategy

The illusion is that if I feel guilty about something, it will help me to change, to not do that thing again, or to do better next time. It won’t! Not a chance!

That is not the way the brain works. Whatever we continually impress upon our brains basically becomes an instruction. So if I keep feeling guilty for ________ then I will keep thinking about it which becomes an instruction to do it again. Guilt assures that I will do it again.

How many times do you think I could feel guilty about eating that piece of chocolate cake before I’m eating another piece of chocolate cake? Even if I’m having a really good will power day, it still won’t take too many times before I’m doing that thing again and then feeling even guiltier.

A much better strategy is to repent and then forgive. Repenting is acknowledging that this is not how I want to behave and even figuring out what I’d prefer to do instead. If I hurt someone, then this is the time to make amends. Then it is time to forgive myself and let go. It is time to think about what I do want, the new behavior, rather than what I do not want, the old behavior.

Remember whatever we continually impress upon our brains becomes an instruction.

Much Love,

Jonathan