Whenever we try to be responsible for another person – their happiness, their success, their mood, their well-being – we are setting ourselves up to suffer. We are putting ourselves in an impossible position because we are not in charge of that other person’s brain. We don’t have the power to make them feel or act a specific way (no matter how much you’d like to think that you do).

This means that sometimes we can do all the right things and still have things turn out poorly, or not at all the way we intended.

It is okay when this happens. It is a part of life. The trick in these situations is to not get caught up in the result which is something we cannot control. Instead we need to realize we did our job.

My daughter, Sabine, has always been a sweet, happy, funny child. I’ve always enjoyed being around her. However, about a month ago she got dark. The Sabine I knew vanished. Over and over and over again, I opened a door to happiness in front of her and she choose to not walk through it.

I had to remember this wisdom – I’m not responsible for her happiness. I was doing all the right things and they were not working. The outcome was not my fault or my responsibility. I had to let go of the result – for my own happiness and sanity.

(Fortunately, this only lasted for about a week and then happy Sabine returned!)

If you notice that you are suffering about another person, there’s a good chance that you are trying to be responsible for that person. That always puts us in an impossible position where suffering is inevitable.