No one is bad and wrong
I recently worked with a person who had been told by many people (both professionals and non-professionals) that he is bad and wrong. He had a couple of negative labels “gifted” to him – you are an “X” and a “Y”.
What do you think this did for his confidence, for his well-being, for his optimism that things could be different, for his happiness? – Nothing good.
What do you think this did for his sense of who he is? – His identity became these negative things. “I am this and I am that.”
No! He is not this and that! He is a person (just like you and me) who happens to have a couple of behavioral quirks (just like we all do). He isn’t bad. He isn’t wrong. He is just human!!!
He is also a person who does a bunch of things really well (just like you and me).
When we define ourselves or others by the problems, change becomes almost impossible. The problem becomes the identity. The person becomes bad and wrong.
This is not who any of us are! We are all amazing, wonderful, talented people who have some behaviors that could be upgraded. We are all loved deeply and fully by God, right now, independent of our behaviors, independent of our results.
No one is bad and wrong. However, we certainly can (and do) have behaviors that are not in our best interest or that have room for upgrading. It is vitally important to make this distinction.
Much Love,
Jonathan
I write these Daily Doses because I know that my content does make a difference and helps people live better lives. So, if you know someone who would benefit from today’s thoughts, please pass this on. Thanks and gratitude in advance!
photo credit: sirwiseowl Think Before You Speak! via photopin (license)
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