Don’t make the impersonal personal

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Don’t make the impersonal personal    When someone treats us poorly, it is very easy to take that personally. Most of the time though, it isn’t personal. That’s just how that person does life. If they weren’t treating us poorly, they’d be treating someone else poorly. It just seems personal because we are there and […]

Change and apathy

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Change and apathy   A common trap that people fall into is to think that change is not possible, that this is as good as it gets. This easily leads to apathy and resignation. After all, why bother to try or to even be engaged if change is not possible. So, if you find yourself […]

Strategies and tactics vs mindset and beliefs

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Strategies and tactics vs  mindset and beliefs People tend to look at strategies and tactics when they want to do better. But, the best strategies and tactics won’t work, or won’t work as well as they should if we don’t have the right mindset and beliefs to support those strategies and tactics. For example, let’s […]

Value to offer

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Value to offer  Generally speaking, whatever we deem valuable, we are willing to pay for. We pay for value. And, a common bit of head trash is people not owning their value – “I have value to offer!!!” When this happens, we get in our own way of getting paid. It is so important to […]

Our starting point determines our outcome

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Our starting point determines our outcome  If our starting point is something lousy like: I cannot do this. I’m not worthy. This is too hard. I’m destined to be mediocre. Good things don’t happen to me. Etc. Than an undesirable outcome is all but guaranteed. Oftentimes the first step to success is in upgrading our […]

Pavlov’s Dog and Our Brains

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Pavlov’s Dog and Our Brains  Pavlov and his dog are a famous psychology experiment about stimulus – response loops. Pavlov would ring the bell and then feed the dog and he kept repeating this. Soon the dog became conditioned to expect that when the bell rang, he would be fed. As soon as the bell […]

Identity Issues

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Identity Issues  It is impossible to do better than we think we are. We cannot out-perform our identity. But, our identity is not the truth about who we are. It is more just a compilation of habits – habits of how we perceive ourselves, and habits of how we act, think, and feel. And, habits […]

Darth Vader’s less scary brother, Darth Cupcake

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Darth Vader’s less scary brother, Darth Cupcake  “Darth Vader” that just sounds tough, scary, and evil. The effect would not have been the same if they called him “Darth Cupcake”. That sounds silly, wimpy, and even emasculating. We can do ourselves a huge favor by giving disempowering, silly, or emasculating names to those characters in […]

Support vs criticism

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Support vs criticism  What’s the ratio of support to judgment, criticism, and opinions that you receive from others? What’s the ratio of support to judgment, criticism, and opinions that you give to others? What would happen if we gave more support and less of the other stuff? Much Love, Jonathan Help me out please ~ […]

Outwitting Our Thinking

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Outwitting Our Thinking  Sabine was sitting next to me on the roller coaster. She was about to ride for the first time. I could see, feel, and hear her starting to get anxious. I figured that this would most likely turn out to be a scary experience for her rather than an exciting experience if […]

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