Who’s the lucky one?

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Who’s the lucky one?  So often our thinking tends towards – “I’m lucky that they hired me. I’m lucky that they chose me. I’m lucky to have them.” Instead, what if they are lucky to have me. – not in some ego-tripping way but from owning our value, owning our experience, owning our gifts, owning […]

Don’t make the impersonal personal

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Don’t make the impersonal personal    When someone treats us poorly, it is very easy to take that personally. Most of the time though, it isn’t personal. That’s just how that person does life. If they weren’t treating us poorly, they’d be treating someone else poorly. It just seems personal because we are there and […]

Change and apathy

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Change and apathy   A common trap that people fall into is to think that change is not possible, that this is as good as it gets. This easily leads to apathy and resignation. After all, why bother to try or to even be engaged if change is not possible. So, if you find yourself […]

Strategies and tactics vs mindset and beliefs

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Strategies and tactics vs  mindset and beliefs People tend to look at strategies and tactics when they want to do better. But, the best strategies and tactics won’t work, or won’t work as well as they should if we don’t have the right mindset and beliefs to support those strategies and tactics. For example, let’s […]

Wasting energy

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Wasting energy  People so often fall into the trap of regretting the way things are and imagining the way things might have been. This is a total waste of energy and creates an immense amount of suffering. Instead, accept that you are where you are, and that things are the way they are. Then turn […]

Awesome Imaginary Friend

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Awesome Imaginary Friend  I was recently talking with a client whose business partnership had ended. The thing he missed most about the partnership was the conversations they had about the business that would get him pumped up. I immediately saw an image of him talking to himself, or to an imaginary friend, and having those […]

It is impossible to outperform your self-image

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It is impossible to outperform your self-image  In his book, Psychocybernetics, Maxwell Maltz said, “It is impossible to outperform your self-image.” It is impossible to do better than your opinion of yourself. One example of this is the shockingly large percentage of lottery winners who lose all their winnings in a matter of years. Being mega-wealthy […]

We see what we expect to see

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We see what we expect to see  So often we see what we expect to see, rather than what is actually there. I remember the first time I went to Panera Bread. I went to get a glass of ice water. I filled my glass with ice and then started looking for the little water […]

Pavlov’s Dog and Our Brains

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Pavlov’s Dog and Our Brains  Pavlov and his dog are a famous psychology experiment about stimulus – response loops. Pavlov would ring the bell and then feed the dog and he kept repeating this. Soon the dog became conditioned to expect that when the bell rang, he would be fed. As soon as the bell […]

Trying too hard

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Trying too hard  Whenever my setting in volleyball gets inaccurate, it is most likely that I’m trying too hard to give my partner the perfect set so that he can crush it. I just need to breathe, relax, have fun, and get my mind out of the way so that my body can do what […]

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