Leaving the past in the past  

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Leaving the past in the past  We so often think that in order to change and for things to be different, we need to make up for the past. Yes, the past has got us to where we are today. But, the future is created in the now. For example, let’s say I want to […]

Buckets with holes

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Buckets with holes  We can never fill a bucket that has a hole in the bottom. No matter how fast we pour water in, it drains out the hole in the bottom. The answer isn’t in getting more water, it is in patching the hole. This is a great metaphor for how so many people […]

Problem or opportunity?

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Problem or opportunity?  When that undesirable thing happens, how do you respond? 1) Oh no, I’ve got a problem. 2) Yahoo, I’ve got an opportunity for an upgrade. All problems come with an opportunity for an upgrade, an opportunity for us to let go of some head trash, an opportunity for us to become an […]

And then the little wheels in our head spin – often making up garbage

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And then the little wheels in our head spin – often making up garbage  We have experiences in life and then often the little wheels in our head spin and we make up a story. This story then impacts our behaviors and our outcomes. We don’t do this consciously or intentionally. It just happens. For […]

Non-conscious allowing

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Non-conscious allowing  We allow struggle, frustration, anxiety, and limitation in our lives. Of course, we don’t do this consciously or intentionally. But through our non-conscious programming, through the meanings we have attached to life experiences (both consciously and non-consciously), and through other head trash, we do allow these things in our lives. The great news […]

Willingness

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Willingness  Willingness doesn’t get attention, credit, and appreciation it deserves. Nothing changes without willingness. Over the years I’ve met plenty of people who were not willing, and their lives were a mess: Not willing to forgive Not willing to let go of the past Not willing to give up being hurt and being a victim […]

Resignation and small dreams

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Resignation and small dreams  Over time, many (if not most) people start to dream smaller. They have lived some years, tried some things, had some hopes and dreams, and enthusiastic starts – but, they have not had that breakthrough, they haven’t hit that home run, they haven’t created that success they hoped for. And consequently, […]

Being a purple cow

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Being a purple cow  I had a conversation today with some friends about follow up that reminded me of Seth Godin’s book, Purple Cow, that came out in 2003. The book in a nutshell is: After you’ve seen a bunch of cows, you stop paying attention. But if you saw a purple cow, you’d start […]

Escaping the double bind

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Escaping the double bind    A double bind is a situation where neither option is desirable, either way we lose. Our thinking often puts us into double binds. I can either be a good parent or have a successful career. This double bind has me choosing between being a bad father or being a bad […]

Proactive self defense   

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Proactive self defense       If we know we are going to be in an environment or situation that has a high likelihood of being unpleasant or even hostile, then proactive self defense is a wise move. In the days before hand: Send love repeatedly to all the parties involved. Pray for them. Set […]

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